I'm not gonna lie. The last few days have been rough. I haven't been feeling well. My allergy and sinus troubles are back again. Let me just say, I do NOT love pollen. I know it's necessary, but pollen and I just don't get along. Unfortunately, the pollen count here has been very high, so I haven't really been feeling my best. On top of that, Will is getting some of his molars, and they are really bothering him. We've been so blessed in the area of teething and really haven't had much trouble...until now. The poor guy is having a hard time eating, drinking, and sleeping, which makes him really cranky. Which makes me really cranky.
All that to say, I haven't been in the best mood for a few days. I've been cranky, irritable, frustrated, discouraged, angry, and just plain tired. I've shed tears of anger and frustration. I've screamed and yelled. I've gone to my bedroom and just buried my face in my pillow because I didn't know what else to do. Last night, before I went to bed, I really thought over the past few days, and I realized something. They were over, and I had to let them be over. The more I carried the previous bad day into the next, the more things piled up, and the worse things got. So, I said a very long prayer, asking God for forgiveness, for a new attitude, for a new perspective, and for a fresh start. I told myself: Tomorrow's a new day. You can choose to be miserable, or you can choose have a better day.
So, that's what I'm doing. I'm choosing a better day. Because the bad days are no fun. Because I have so much to be thankful for. Because my situation could be so much worse. Because I whine and complain about things that other people would be blessed to have in their lives.
I know I'm allowed to have a bad day. Everyone has bad days. I think it's ok to be unhappy and even miserable sometimes. Our feelings and frustrations are real. We shouldn't deny that they exist and pretend that our lives are perfect and that everything is ok. But we shouldn't dwell there, either. We can get stuck in a rut and bad day gets piled on top of bad day. Bad moods become the norm. This doesn't just affect us, it affects everyone around us. I don't know about you, but I don't like to be around people who are constantly in a bad mood, so I certainly don't want to be one of those people!
Today, I am thankful. Thankful for a fresh start. Thankful that despite minor allergy problems, I am very healthy. Thankful that despite some painful teething problems, I have a very happy, healthy little boy. Thankful for a husband who has put up with my bad attitude over the past few days. Thankful for friends who encourage me in the midst of my frustration. Thankful for a mom I can call and talk to and cry to anytime I want. Thankful for a loving, supportive family. Thankful for having more than I need. Thankful for a God who loves, comforts, forgives, and restores.
Today is going to be a good day.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
15 Months
I was looking back over some of my "Will posts," and I feel like they're getting a little boring. They're pretty much the same stuff each month, so I thought I would change it up a little bit. Instead of sharing all of his "stats," I just want to share some of my favorite Will stories from the past month. He is a funny little guy and does things every day that just crack me up (and disgust me all at the same time). I also conveniently forgot to mention his temper tantrums last month. I honestly don't know how they slipped my mind. I think I subconsciously block them out, so I can remember what a sweet little boy he is when he's not screaming at the top of his lungs and throwing himself on the floor in a public place. Thankfully (insert sarcasm here), they didn't go anywhere, so I still have plenty of time to write about them.
- I'll go ahead and give the stats just so I'll remember them. He is 20 lbs. 6 oz. (5%) and 31 1/2 inches long (50%). Needless to say, he's long and lean, and it's quite a challenge to find pants that fit!
- We had 2 very public temper tantrums and several not-so-public ones. I'm not going to go into all the details right now because I have a post solely dedicated to them coming up soon. Let's just say, I've apologized to my parents more than once now for ever throwing a temper tantrum in public. I know this is something a lot of toddlers go through, but it is definitely not a fun part of parenting.
- On a happier note, we went to Kansas to visit Theron's family, and Will got to sit on a real tractor for the very first time. Theron said as soon as he saw it, he said, Tractor! Tractor! He loves to drive his toy tractors around, so I'm sure getting to sit on a real tractor was so awesome for him.
- One day, I heard shrieking coming from our guest bathroom. I walked in to see what was wrong, and all I saw were Will's legs sticking straight up in the air kicking furiously. The top half of his body was in the bathtub, reaching for a toy he had dropped in there. I did go help him out, but I had a really good laugh first.
- That same day, he was walking around with an empty wrapper. He loves Arbonne fit chews (they're like candy to him), and when he finishes them, he likes to lick the wrapper. I can't say I blame him. So, he's walking around licking the wrapper, and I notice it's getting very wet and looking pretty disgusting. I said, "Will, that looks yucky. Will you go put it in the trash?" He walked off, and I followed him to see if he was actually going to put it in the trash can. Nope. He went straight to the bathroom, dropped it in the toilet, got it back out, and stuck it back in his mouth. No wonder it had gotten so wet and nasty looking.
- He always makes me feel so good about my cooking and the food I feed him because when he eats, he always says, "Mmmmmm....mmmmmmm," or "Yummmmm." A few days ago, I was humbled. I heard him in the living room, saying, "mmmmmm....mmmmmm." I knew he had been playing in my purse, so I thought...oh no, he's probably eating my lip gloss or something like that. I walked in there to see what was so delicious, and there he was, sucking on a tampon. Thankfully (I guess), the wrapper was still on. Now, I've never tasted one, but I can't imagine it tasted that good. Apparently, my cooking might not be as good as I thought.
- Almost every day at lunch we watch Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. Will gets so excited for people when they get a question right. He claps his hands and looks so happy and proud. What's really funny, though, is when they get the question wrong. He always says a very dramatic, "Oh, noooo!"
He is so much fun and really does have such a sweet personality. Sometimes, I feel like I talk to other people about his temper tantrums and his orneriness way more than I talk about what a sweet, funny little boy he is. I'm trying to be better about this.
No matter what, I tell him how much I love him and what a good, sweet boy he is every single day. Even when he throws fits, even when tests my patience, even when he chews on paper out of the toilet. I love him so much, and nothing could ever change that!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Get Ready to Change Your Life
I know most of my blog posts are probably not "life changing." Interesting? Maybe. Informative? Perhaps. Funny? Of course! But, life changing? Probably not.
This post, however, is different. Not because of something brilliant I'm going to write (sorry to disappoint you), but because of something I'm going to share.
I'm reading a book called Success Is Not an Accident by Tommy Newberry. I wanted to wait until I was actually finished reading it to write about it, but I just can't wait! I have been telling everyone I know about this book since the day I started reading it. It really isn't a long book, but I only get to read when I can squeeze it in, so it's taking me a little while to finish it. Plus, it is so full of information that I like to take my time and really absorb what I'm reading.
Obviously, the book is about success and being successful with your life. The thing I love about this book is that it lets you define what success means for you. There are actually short assignments at the end of each chapter, and one of your first assignments is to write your definition of success. Because, how can you be successful if you don't know what that looks like?
Once you have defined success, the author gives you very concrete, detailed instructions for writing out your goals, so you can ultimately achieve them. He has you look forward to where you want to be in 30 years. You imagine what your life looks like, what you're doing, what your family looks like, what your free time looks like. Your only limit is your imagination! Then, you work backward from there.
You write down specific goals you want to accomplish in 30 years. Then you figure out what you need to have done in 15 years, so those goals can be accomplished. Then you look at what needs to be done in the next 10 years, 5 years, 1 year, 6 months, 1 month, 1 week, all the way to what needs to be done today. He starts at 30 years out, but you could really start at any point in the future and work backward from there. This may seem really simple to all of you, but to me, this was an "A-HA" moment.
You look to where you want to be, and then you figure out what you need to do to get there. And then...get this...you do it! It sounds so simple when you think about it that way, and you can apply this to absolutely any goal you have.
For example, if you want to lose weight: How much do you want to weigh in 1 year? What do you need to do to get there? What do you need to have done in 6 months? 1 month? 1 week? What steps can you take every day to reach your goal?
It is so practical and helps you focus on what you CAN do. One of my favorite quotes from the book says, "Focus on reaching your goals rather than the obstacles that stand in your way. " So often, we focus on what we can't do, what we can't control. We look at everything that's going to stop us. This hinders us from doing what we CAN. This moves our focus away from the daily things we can do to get us where we want to be. Another great quote from the book says, "The moment you want a goal more than you want an excuse, you can succeed."
What's your excuse? It's easy to come up with them. I can come up with all kinds of excuses not to pursue my dreams. I'm too young. I don't have enough money. I don't have enough education or the right education. I have a one-year-old. I'm too busy. I'll do it someday. I don't have the right personality for that. I don't have the proper training to do that. I might fail. People might think I'm crazy.
Get my point? I could go on and on and on, creating one excuse after another about why I can't do something. But what if I stop thinking about what could go wrong and start thinking about what could go RIGHT? What if I don't focus on the obstacles, but instead, focus on the destination and what I can do to get there?Anything worth having is worth working for, and those obstacles that come up only make us stronger.
I love that the author is a Christian and repeatedly asks you to think about what God has created you to do. God created YOU to do something unique and special with your life. There is absolutely no one else like you on the face of this earth. You are truly an original, and God has a specific plan for your life.
What does it look like? What does God want you to do? What does He want to use you to accomplish? The book asks, "How do you believe God wants the world to be different because of your particular life?" You see, God has big plans for all of us. He wants to use us to change the world, but if we don't embace those plans, if we don't pursue Him and what He wants for our lives, He will still accomplish His plans...He'll just use someone else to do it. Don't you want Him to use YOU? Don't you want to be part of something big?
I know I do. I want to use every ounce of potential God has given me. When I get to Heaven, I want Him to say, I had to bring you home because you had absolutely nothing left in you. This book truly has inspired me to do whatever it takes to be the person God created me to be. If you're looking for encouragement and direction on how to reach your full potential, I would highly recommend that you read it, too. In the next several posts, I'm going to be sharing some of the dreams and goals God has given me and how I plan to pursue them.
Just remember...He created YOU to do great things.
This post, however, is different. Not because of something brilliant I'm going to write (sorry to disappoint you), but because of something I'm going to share.
I'm reading a book called Success Is Not an Accident by Tommy Newberry. I wanted to wait until I was actually finished reading it to write about it, but I just can't wait! I have been telling everyone I know about this book since the day I started reading it. It really isn't a long book, but I only get to read when I can squeeze it in, so it's taking me a little while to finish it. Plus, it is so full of information that I like to take my time and really absorb what I'm reading.
Obviously, the book is about success and being successful with your life. The thing I love about this book is that it lets you define what success means for you. There are actually short assignments at the end of each chapter, and one of your first assignments is to write your definition of success. Because, how can you be successful if you don't know what that looks like?
Once you have defined success, the author gives you very concrete, detailed instructions for writing out your goals, so you can ultimately achieve them. He has you look forward to where you want to be in 30 years. You imagine what your life looks like, what you're doing, what your family looks like, what your free time looks like. Your only limit is your imagination! Then, you work backward from there.
You write down specific goals you want to accomplish in 30 years. Then you figure out what you need to have done in 15 years, so those goals can be accomplished. Then you look at what needs to be done in the next 10 years, 5 years, 1 year, 6 months, 1 month, 1 week, all the way to what needs to be done today. He starts at 30 years out, but you could really start at any point in the future and work backward from there. This may seem really simple to all of you, but to me, this was an "A-HA" moment.
You look to where you want to be, and then you figure out what you need to do to get there. And then...get this...you do it! It sounds so simple when you think about it that way, and you can apply this to absolutely any goal you have.
For example, if you want to lose weight: How much do you want to weigh in 1 year? What do you need to do to get there? What do you need to have done in 6 months? 1 month? 1 week? What steps can you take every day to reach your goal?
It is so practical and helps you focus on what you CAN do. One of my favorite quotes from the book says, "Focus on reaching your goals rather than the obstacles that stand in your way. " So often, we focus on what we can't do, what we can't control. We look at everything that's going to stop us. This hinders us from doing what we CAN. This moves our focus away from the daily things we can do to get us where we want to be. Another great quote from the book says, "The moment you want a goal more than you want an excuse, you can succeed."
What's your excuse? It's easy to come up with them. I can come up with all kinds of excuses not to pursue my dreams. I'm too young. I don't have enough money. I don't have enough education or the right education. I have a one-year-old. I'm too busy. I'll do it someday. I don't have the right personality for that. I don't have the proper training to do that. I might fail. People might think I'm crazy.
Get my point? I could go on and on and on, creating one excuse after another about why I can't do something. But what if I stop thinking about what could go wrong and start thinking about what could go RIGHT? What if I don't focus on the obstacles, but instead, focus on the destination and what I can do to get there?Anything worth having is worth working for, and those obstacles that come up only make us stronger.
I love that the author is a Christian and repeatedly asks you to think about what God has created you to do. God created YOU to do something unique and special with your life. There is absolutely no one else like you on the face of this earth. You are truly an original, and God has a specific plan for your life.
What does it look like? What does God want you to do? What does He want to use you to accomplish? The book asks, "How do you believe God wants the world to be different because of your particular life?" You see, God has big plans for all of us. He wants to use us to change the world, but if we don't embace those plans, if we don't pursue Him and what He wants for our lives, He will still accomplish His plans...He'll just use someone else to do it. Don't you want Him to use YOU? Don't you want to be part of something big?
I know I do. I want to use every ounce of potential God has given me. When I get to Heaven, I want Him to say, I had to bring you home because you had absolutely nothing left in you. This book truly has inspired me to do whatever it takes to be the person God created me to be. If you're looking for encouragement and direction on how to reach your full potential, I would highly recommend that you read it, too. In the next several posts, I'm going to be sharing some of the dreams and goals God has given me and how I plan to pursue them.
Just remember...He created YOU to do great things.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Happy Valentine's Day
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I must admit...I'm not the biggest fan of Valentine's Day. Maybe a little bit of my husband's cynicism has actually rubbed off on me over the years. According to him, Valentine's Day is a meaningless holiday created by people who sell chocolate, flowers, and greeting cards. In a way, I sort of have to agree.
I always received a Valentine's Day gift from my parents (and still do)! Thanks, Mom and Dad, :). I always celebrated with friends and boyfriends throughout the years. We got Will a gift this year...a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse DVD, which he loves! So, I'm not a total Scrooge, but when you really stop to think about it what is the point of Valentine's Day?
Theron and I really don't get gifts for each other. We discussed this while we were dating and agreed that we'd rather do nice things to show our love and appreciation for each other throughout the year, rather than buying each other gifts one day a year just because it's Valentine's Day. Don't get me wrong...if you love Valentine's Day, I'm not judging you. This is just something we decided before we even got married.
Here are my thoughts. I would rather my husband buy me flowers just because he feels like it or because he knows I would like them. Like a couple weeks ago, for example. I had a really rough day. Will was in a terrible mood and had thrown multiple temper tantrums that morning. By lunch time, I'd had enough. Theron came home to eat with us, and I lost it. I told him I quit. I said, "I am NOT cut out to be a stay at home mom!" I don't have the patience. I want to go back to work where people are nice to me. (I tend to get a little irrational from time to time). After patiently listening to my tirade, he gave me a hug and said, "I'm so sorry you're having a bad day. I hope it gets better." He went back to work, Will took a nap, and our day did get better. Theron was supposed to run that evening after work. Those of you who know him, know his running means a lot to him, and he's worked really hard lately to get back into shape. That evening, instead of running, he came home...with tulips...my favorite flower. He also brought me a box of Thin Mints...my very favorite Girl Scout cookie ever. He took Will to his room and played with him, so I could make dinner in peace and quiet. I love my husband every single day, but I appreciated him so much that night. He knew exactly what would make me feel better and sacrificed what he wanted to do in order to make me happy.
Folks, this is what true love looks like in my opinion. I am not perfect. My husband's not perfect. We get mad at each other, we argue, we don't love each other the way we should each and every day. But we do our best to put each other's needs ahead of our own, to forgive quickly and wholeheartedly, to show appreciation for one another, to do nice things for each other, to make each other laugh, to give each other space when it is needed, to support and encourage one another in our daily lives, to push each other to be better every day, to help each other pursue our goals and dreams. Simply put, we strive to love the way God first loved us. Obviously, we fail, but we pursue that kind of love anyway.
Marriage and relationships in general can be hard. They can take a lot of work. For us, we believe that the key to successful relationships is putting God first. When we are both seeking Him, we are growing closer to one another. When we even attempt to love each other the way God loves us, it is better than anything we could ever do on our own.
So, enjoy your Valentine's Day. I won't judge you. But I am constantly grateful for my Valentine who chooses to show me his love and affection throughout the year, not just on February 14th.
I always received a Valentine's Day gift from my parents (and still do)! Thanks, Mom and Dad, :). I always celebrated with friends and boyfriends throughout the years. We got Will a gift this year...a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse DVD, which he loves! So, I'm not a total Scrooge, but when you really stop to think about it what is the point of Valentine's Day?
Theron and I really don't get gifts for each other. We discussed this while we were dating and agreed that we'd rather do nice things to show our love and appreciation for each other throughout the year, rather than buying each other gifts one day a year just because it's Valentine's Day. Don't get me wrong...if you love Valentine's Day, I'm not judging you. This is just something we decided before we even got married.
Here are my thoughts. I would rather my husband buy me flowers just because he feels like it or because he knows I would like them. Like a couple weeks ago, for example. I had a really rough day. Will was in a terrible mood and had thrown multiple temper tantrums that morning. By lunch time, I'd had enough. Theron came home to eat with us, and I lost it. I told him I quit. I said, "I am NOT cut out to be a stay at home mom!" I don't have the patience. I want to go back to work where people are nice to me. (I tend to get a little irrational from time to time). After patiently listening to my tirade, he gave me a hug and said, "I'm so sorry you're having a bad day. I hope it gets better." He went back to work, Will took a nap, and our day did get better. Theron was supposed to run that evening after work. Those of you who know him, know his running means a lot to him, and he's worked really hard lately to get back into shape. That evening, instead of running, he came home...with tulips...my favorite flower. He also brought me a box of Thin Mints...my very favorite Girl Scout cookie ever. He took Will to his room and played with him, so I could make dinner in peace and quiet. I love my husband every single day, but I appreciated him so much that night. He knew exactly what would make me feel better and sacrificed what he wanted to do in order to make me happy.
Folks, this is what true love looks like in my opinion. I am not perfect. My husband's not perfect. We get mad at each other, we argue, we don't love each other the way we should each and every day. But we do our best to put each other's needs ahead of our own, to forgive quickly and wholeheartedly, to show appreciation for one another, to do nice things for each other, to make each other laugh, to give each other space when it is needed, to support and encourage one another in our daily lives, to push each other to be better every day, to help each other pursue our goals and dreams. Simply put, we strive to love the way God first loved us. Obviously, we fail, but we pursue that kind of love anyway.
Marriage and relationships in general can be hard. They can take a lot of work. For us, we believe that the key to successful relationships is putting God first. When we are both seeking Him, we are growing closer to one another. When we even attempt to love each other the way God loves us, it is better than anything we could ever do on our own.
So, enjoy your Valentine's Day. I won't judge you. But I am constantly grateful for my Valentine who chooses to show me his love and affection throughout the year, not just on February 14th.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
13 and 14 Months
So, I totally didn't write a post for Will's 13 month update. Perhaps it had something to do with the craziness of the holidays, the craziness of my 13-month-old, or the craziness of life in general (it's pretty crazy around here!). Whatever the reason, I didn't do it, and one day when Will is reading the blog books I've printed for him (I know it will be his favorite pasttime), he will say, "Wow, Mom. Thanks for forgetting about my 13th month of life." Will, if you're reading this at some point in the future, I didn't forget, I just didn't have a chance to blog about it. or sit down. or breathe.
Anyway, I'll try to combine months 13 and 14 in this post, so I can remember what was going on, and so Will knows I didn't totally skip out on one month of his life.
I don't know his exact weight and height, but I do know he went through a huge growth spurt. I'm pretty sure he grew 2 inches or more in the span of a month. Pants are too short, jammies are too small, and he's almost as tall as some of his friends that he's never even been close too. His weight didn't seem to increase as fast, though, and he's looking kind of skinny these days. Maybe he's just losing some of that precious baby fat. Whatever it is, he is starting to look less like a baby and more like a toddler every day.
He definitely does not act like a baby. I can't believe all the things he can do. He just amazes me every day.
His vocabulary has really picked up over the past couple of months. He can repeat tons of words, but he has actually started using several words to communicate on his own. Some of his favorite words are tractor, ball, more, milk, touchdown (complete with arm motions), and his favorite of all...NO! I have to say, I'm already tired of him telling me "NO!" and I know I have years of this to look forward to. He can also say all done, bath time, Grandad, and DVD.
Speaking of DVD, he has become much more interested in TV shows and movies. His favorite shows are Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Sesame Street. He loves Elmo (Mo). What is it about Elmo that kids love so much? I don't get it, but it seems to be universal. He also loves watching his Baby Einstein on the Farm dvd and his Sing Along Songs dvd. He will bring me both remote controls and say "DVD?" I try not to let him watch too much TV, but when he asks so sweetly, I sometimes have trouble telling him no. I am, however, getting VERY tired of watching the same two dvds over and over and over again.
Thankfully, we've had a very mild winter, so we've been able to play outside quite a bit. Will loves playing outside, and I am so ready for spring and summer to get here! Hopefully, we won't be dealing with 100+ degree heat every day like last summer, but we plan on being outside. A LOT.
He still has a great appetite and eats just about anything that's put in front of him. Sometimes I'm amazed by the quantity of food such a small person can consume. I dread my future grocery bills! Some of his favorite foods are bananas, blueberries, pumpkin muffins, meatballs, green beans, and any type of bread. It's funny, because even though he will eat just about anything, a lot of his favorite foods are still the same as when he first started eating solids.
This month has brought an obsession...yes, obsession....with jumping on the bed. I'm pretty sure he would stay on my bed all day long if I'd let him. Sometimes, I'll be on the computer, or washing dishes, or getting ready, and he'll come grab my hand and drag me into the bedroom. He'll walk up to the bed and stand there saying "up,up,up." I lift him up onto the bed, and look out! He is a crazy man. He jumps, he falls flat on his face, flat on his back, he walks to the very edge and looks at me just so I'll say...be careful, Will!
He loves testing the limits. To him, "no" is just an invitation to do whatever you don't want him to do. In the same way, "be careful" is an invitation to step a little closer to the edge of the bed, or the couch, or the street. It is fun and scary to see his personality emerge. I can see some of the battles we are going to face, but I can also see the strong, independent man he is going to become. He won't be afraid to question things, to test the limits. Sometimes, this might be dangerous, but I can also see it being very beneficial. I can see him being a leader. An adventurer, ready to test uncharted waters. I know he will get into his fair share of trouble. I know he will probably be an ornery little boy and very likely an ornery teenage boy and an ornery adult. However, I pray that God will take those qualities - his strong will, his adventurous personality, his curious nature - and will develop them and shape them to be used for His glory.
I know my sweet Will was created just the way he is for a purpose, and my prayer every day is that he will become a man who seeks God and follows Him in every area of his life. If He does, I know God will use him and that strong personality to do great things.
Anyway, I'll try to combine months 13 and 14 in this post, so I can remember what was going on, and so Will knows I didn't totally skip out on one month of his life.
I don't know his exact weight and height, but I do know he went through a huge growth spurt. I'm pretty sure he grew 2 inches or more in the span of a month. Pants are too short, jammies are too small, and he's almost as tall as some of his friends that he's never even been close too. His weight didn't seem to increase as fast, though, and he's looking kind of skinny these days. Maybe he's just losing some of that precious baby fat. Whatever it is, he is starting to look less like a baby and more like a toddler every day.
He definitely does not act like a baby. I can't believe all the things he can do. He just amazes me every day.
His vocabulary has really picked up over the past couple of months. He can repeat tons of words, but he has actually started using several words to communicate on his own. Some of his favorite words are tractor, ball, more, milk, touchdown (complete with arm motions), and his favorite of all...NO! I have to say, I'm already tired of him telling me "NO!" and I know I have years of this to look forward to. He can also say all done, bath time, Grandad, and DVD.
Speaking of DVD, he has become much more interested in TV shows and movies. His favorite shows are Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Sesame Street. He loves Elmo (Mo). What is it about Elmo that kids love so much? I don't get it, but it seems to be universal. He also loves watching his Baby Einstein on the Farm dvd and his Sing Along Songs dvd. He will bring me both remote controls and say "DVD?" I try not to let him watch too much TV, but when he asks so sweetly, I sometimes have trouble telling him no. I am, however, getting VERY tired of watching the same two dvds over and over and over again.
Thankfully, we've had a very mild winter, so we've been able to play outside quite a bit. Will loves playing outside, and I am so ready for spring and summer to get here! Hopefully, we won't be dealing with 100+ degree heat every day like last summer, but we plan on being outside. A LOT.
He still has a great appetite and eats just about anything that's put in front of him. Sometimes I'm amazed by the quantity of food such a small person can consume. I dread my future grocery bills! Some of his favorite foods are bananas, blueberries, pumpkin muffins, meatballs, green beans, and any type of bread. It's funny, because even though he will eat just about anything, a lot of his favorite foods are still the same as when he first started eating solids.
This month has brought an obsession...yes, obsession....with jumping on the bed. I'm pretty sure he would stay on my bed all day long if I'd let him. Sometimes, I'll be on the computer, or washing dishes, or getting ready, and he'll come grab my hand and drag me into the bedroom. He'll walk up to the bed and stand there saying "up,up,up." I lift him up onto the bed, and look out! He is a crazy man. He jumps, he falls flat on his face, flat on his back, he walks to the very edge and looks at me just so I'll say...be careful, Will!
He loves testing the limits. To him, "no" is just an invitation to do whatever you don't want him to do. In the same way, "be careful" is an invitation to step a little closer to the edge of the bed, or the couch, or the street. It is fun and scary to see his personality emerge. I can see some of the battles we are going to face, but I can also see the strong, independent man he is going to become. He won't be afraid to question things, to test the limits. Sometimes, this might be dangerous, but I can also see it being very beneficial. I can see him being a leader. An adventurer, ready to test uncharted waters. I know he will get into his fair share of trouble. I know he will probably be an ornery little boy and very likely an ornery teenage boy and an ornery adult. However, I pray that God will take those qualities - his strong will, his adventurous personality, his curious nature - and will develop them and shape them to be used for His glory.
I know my sweet Will was created just the way he is for a purpose, and my prayer every day is that he will become a man who seeks God and follows Him in every area of his life. If He does, I know God will use him and that strong personality to do great things.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Remembering Brandon
January 17. 2005. I remember this date seven years ago as if it were yesterday. It started out like any other day and ended like no day I had ever experienced.
I was a freshman at OBU. I was taking J-term classes, so I had already been back at school for a couple weeks. I woke up and went to class - Government with Dr. Litherland. I sat through my class, went to lunch, and went to track practice. After practice, I went back to my dorm, showered, and got ready for dinner. Very ordinary.
To finish off my ordinary day, I went to our track Bible study that evening. It was led by my friend Daniel, and I always looked forward to it. We met at his apartment every Monday night, and it was a great way to start the week. In an attempt to practice good cell phone manners, I put my phone on silent before we started the Bible study. I'm sure our study didn't last too long. I can't remember exactly. 30 minutes. An hour at the most. Little did I know that in that short amount of time my entire life would change.
After we were finished, I looked at my phone and noticed I had several missed calls from my mom and dad. It was not weird to have a missed call from my mom or dad, but it seemed like they were trying pretty desperately to get a hold of me. I also had a new voicemail, so I checked it to see what was going on. It was very short and vague...Hey, Meagan. It's Dad. Call me as soon as you can. No details, but I could sense that something was wrong.
I called my dad and from the moment he answered, I knew it wasn't just that something was wrong. I knew something really terrible had happened. The tone of his voice, the seriousness I could feel through our connection over the phone.
Hey, Dad. What's wrong? (My mind is jumping to a million conclusions at this point)
Meagan, it's Brandon (my 7-year-old cousin). He collapsed at basketball practice.
Is he ok? He's ok, isn't he? (It was one of those moments where I knew he wasn't ok, but I was just praying my dad would say, Yes, he's fine.)
No. They tried to save him, but there wasn't anything they could do. He's gone.
I stood there in shock. Things like this didn't happen. 7-year-olds don't just collapse and die at basketball practice. I was dreaming. Having a nightmare. This was too impossible to be true. It didn't make any sense.
I burst into tears. I stood outside my friend's apartment door, sobbing. Uncontrollably. I don't remember much of the rest of the conversation with my dad. He told me my cousin Amanda was coming to pick me up to bring me home. I couldn't really process anything.
I hung up the phone and walked back into my friend's apartment still sobbing. Theron met me at the door and hugged me. I hysterically explained what was going on, and Theron and I went back to a bedroom away from everyone else for a little while. I just sat there and cried still trying to process how this could be true. Theron just sat there and held me and let me cry. We had only been dating a few months, and I knew he probably thought I was absolutely crazy, but I didn't care. I couldn't do anything else but sit there and cry.
I finally pulled myself together enough to get back to my dorm room and start packing a few things, so I could go home. My cousin Amanda came, and we headed home together. I was so thankful for her. Thankful that I didn't have to drive by myself. I don't really remember much of that car ride. It is all a blur.
When we finally got home, we went to my Nannie's house where a lot of my family had gathered. It was comforting and horrifying all at the same time. I was so glad to be there with them, but it made it so much more real that he was really gone. I didn't sleep that night. I'm pretty sure I didn't really sleep for a few days. I would drift in and out, but every time I got close to real sleep, Brandon's precious face appeared in my mind.
A seemingly ordinary day, ended up changing my life forever. A matter of a few moments impacted the rest of my life. From that point forward, I begin to see the importance of each and every day of my life. If a 7-year-old could die instantly...so could I. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. I had always known this, but this experience made it so much more real.
I am so thankful for the life of Brandon Beach. In his short 7 years and 1 day (he died the day after his birthday), he taught me so much. He brought so much joy to my life. He was a natural-born athlete. Any and every sport came easily to him. I remember when he was only about 3 or 4 he didn't want to hit the baseball off the tee, he wanted you to pitch to him. He loved sports, and he loved OU. He did a great Mack Brown impression. He could tell you all of his favorite players. A lot of times, he wasn't Brandon, he was Kevin Bookout, or whoever he decided to be that day. He was competitive. I remember playing this dice game called Horse Race with him just a few weeks before he died. He wanted to win SO bad and hated to lose. He was the first little kid I got to babysit all by myself. He was my little buddy, and I loved playing with him.
Everyone just knew he had a great life ahead of him, but God had a different plan. I still don't understand why God chose to take him when he did, and I probably never will. However, I know God has a plan for my life, and I don't know how many days that life has in it. Since I don't know, I have to make the most of each and every one He decides to give me. I can't take even one for granted because I never know when it might be my last. Each one has to count.
Like I said, this whole experience changed my life. It made me value and appreciate time with my family. Now that I have a son, I realize that he is not mine. I have been given the privilege of loving him while he is here with me and entrusted with the responsibility of raising him and teaching him how to love the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind and strength. I have been given a sense of urgency, knowing that the people in my life, those I know well and those I don't, could be here today and gone tomorrow, so I can't waste a moment with any of them. I have a responsibility to share the Truth...that even though our lives on Earth may be short, we can spend eternity with our Father in Heaven. I am so thankful that because of my relationship with Jesus, I will get to be reunited with Brandon one day.
I was given a gift shortly after his death. God allowed me to have a dream where Brandon visited me and let me know that he was ok. Some of you may think this is crazy talk, but I know it was a gift from God. I woke up sobbing when the dream was over because he had to go, but he reassured me that everything was ok and that he was fine and that I would see him again some day.
Please remember that each day is a gift, and we are not promised tomorrow. I know I will hug my family a little tighter today and say a few extra prayers for all the blessings I've been given. I hope you will, too.
I was a freshman at OBU. I was taking J-term classes, so I had already been back at school for a couple weeks. I woke up and went to class - Government with Dr. Litherland. I sat through my class, went to lunch, and went to track practice. After practice, I went back to my dorm, showered, and got ready for dinner. Very ordinary.
To finish off my ordinary day, I went to our track Bible study that evening. It was led by my friend Daniel, and I always looked forward to it. We met at his apartment every Monday night, and it was a great way to start the week. In an attempt to practice good cell phone manners, I put my phone on silent before we started the Bible study. I'm sure our study didn't last too long. I can't remember exactly. 30 minutes. An hour at the most. Little did I know that in that short amount of time my entire life would change.
After we were finished, I looked at my phone and noticed I had several missed calls from my mom and dad. It was not weird to have a missed call from my mom or dad, but it seemed like they were trying pretty desperately to get a hold of me. I also had a new voicemail, so I checked it to see what was going on. It was very short and vague...Hey, Meagan. It's Dad. Call me as soon as you can. No details, but I could sense that something was wrong.
I called my dad and from the moment he answered, I knew it wasn't just that something was wrong. I knew something really terrible had happened. The tone of his voice, the seriousness I could feel through our connection over the phone.
Hey, Dad. What's wrong? (My mind is jumping to a million conclusions at this point)
Meagan, it's Brandon (my 7-year-old cousin). He collapsed at basketball practice.
Is he ok? He's ok, isn't he? (It was one of those moments where I knew he wasn't ok, but I was just praying my dad would say, Yes, he's fine.)
No. They tried to save him, but there wasn't anything they could do. He's gone.
I stood there in shock. Things like this didn't happen. 7-year-olds don't just collapse and die at basketball practice. I was dreaming. Having a nightmare. This was too impossible to be true. It didn't make any sense.
I burst into tears. I stood outside my friend's apartment door, sobbing. Uncontrollably. I don't remember much of the rest of the conversation with my dad. He told me my cousin Amanda was coming to pick me up to bring me home. I couldn't really process anything.
I hung up the phone and walked back into my friend's apartment still sobbing. Theron met me at the door and hugged me. I hysterically explained what was going on, and Theron and I went back to a bedroom away from everyone else for a little while. I just sat there and cried still trying to process how this could be true. Theron just sat there and held me and let me cry. We had only been dating a few months, and I knew he probably thought I was absolutely crazy, but I didn't care. I couldn't do anything else but sit there and cry.
I finally pulled myself together enough to get back to my dorm room and start packing a few things, so I could go home. My cousin Amanda came, and we headed home together. I was so thankful for her. Thankful that I didn't have to drive by myself. I don't really remember much of that car ride. It is all a blur.
When we finally got home, we went to my Nannie's house where a lot of my family had gathered. It was comforting and horrifying all at the same time. I was so glad to be there with them, but it made it so much more real that he was really gone. I didn't sleep that night. I'm pretty sure I didn't really sleep for a few days. I would drift in and out, but every time I got close to real sleep, Brandon's precious face appeared in my mind.
A seemingly ordinary day, ended up changing my life forever. A matter of a few moments impacted the rest of my life. From that point forward, I begin to see the importance of each and every day of my life. If a 7-year-old could die instantly...so could I. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. I had always known this, but this experience made it so much more real.
I am so thankful for the life of Brandon Beach. In his short 7 years and 1 day (he died the day after his birthday), he taught me so much. He brought so much joy to my life. He was a natural-born athlete. Any and every sport came easily to him. I remember when he was only about 3 or 4 he didn't want to hit the baseball off the tee, he wanted you to pitch to him. He loved sports, and he loved OU. He did a great Mack Brown impression. He could tell you all of his favorite players. A lot of times, he wasn't Brandon, he was Kevin Bookout, or whoever he decided to be that day. He was competitive. I remember playing this dice game called Horse Race with him just a few weeks before he died. He wanted to win SO bad and hated to lose. He was the first little kid I got to babysit all by myself. He was my little buddy, and I loved playing with him.
Everyone just knew he had a great life ahead of him, but God had a different plan. I still don't understand why God chose to take him when he did, and I probably never will. However, I know God has a plan for my life, and I don't know how many days that life has in it. Since I don't know, I have to make the most of each and every one He decides to give me. I can't take even one for granted because I never know when it might be my last. Each one has to count.
Like I said, this whole experience changed my life. It made me value and appreciate time with my family. Now that I have a son, I realize that he is not mine. I have been given the privilege of loving him while he is here with me and entrusted with the responsibility of raising him and teaching him how to love the Lord with all his heart, soul, mind and strength. I have been given a sense of urgency, knowing that the people in my life, those I know well and those I don't, could be here today and gone tomorrow, so I can't waste a moment with any of them. I have a responsibility to share the Truth...that even though our lives on Earth may be short, we can spend eternity with our Father in Heaven. I am so thankful that because of my relationship with Jesus, I will get to be reunited with Brandon one day.
I was given a gift shortly after his death. God allowed me to have a dream where Brandon visited me and let me know that he was ok. Some of you may think this is crazy talk, but I know it was a gift from God. I woke up sobbing when the dream was over because he had to go, but he reassured me that everything was ok and that he was fine and that I would see him again some day.
Please remember that each day is a gift, and we are not promised tomorrow. I know I will hug my family a little tighter today and say a few extra prayers for all the blessings I've been given. I hope you will, too.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Goals for the New Year
Hey, everyone! I feel like I haven't see you guys since last year! Hahaha...I'm still as funny as ever. Or not. You don't have to think I'm funny, but please don't tell me and burst my bubble.
How's the new year treating you so far? I have to say, I can't complain. I didn't get the best start to 2012...I was sick. I had a really high fever and felt like I had been hit by a truck. At times, I was wishing the truck would've just gone ahead and finished me off. Thankfully, I made a full recovery, and I think the rest of 2012 can only get better!
I've never been a huge fan of New Year's resolutions. I feel like real resolutions are made any time throughout the year when a person decides they need to make a change or do something differently in their life. I often thought people only made New Year's resolutions because they felt like they were supposed to, not because they truly saw a need for change. Always having my Psychology major tucked away in the back of my mind, I know people will not truly change until they see the need to change and are ready to do what is necessary to make it happen. Because of this, I thought the majority of New Year's resolutions were pretty pointless. While I haven't changed my mind entirely, I do see some benefit in using a new year for somewhat of a "fresh start." It is a nice time to look back and reflect on the past year and to think about some things you would like to challenge yourself to do or to change in the coming year. That's why I have made New Year's Goals rather than New Year's resolutions. These are goals that will be constantly looked at, evaluated, and revised throughout this year and possibly years to come. So, here they are. You can all hold me accountable.
- Say at least 5 positive things to my husband and son every day
- Take time to read to and play with Will every day
- Spend less time online (email, Facebook, blogs...this will be a struggle)
- Run a half marathon (I'm shooting for the OKC Memorial half)
- Exercise at least 5 days a week (this should be easily accomplished with my 1/2 marathon training)
- Make an effort to get to know my neighbors or get to know them better
- Eat fruits and veggies every day
- Drink more water
- Be more bold in sharing my faith.
- Read through the New Testament
- Find a place to volunteer on a regular basis (and actually follow through with it)
- Blog at least once a week
These are just a few things that have been on my heart over the past few weeks. I'm sure more goals will be added, and some of these may be modified, but I always like to have an idea of things I'd like to accomplish and things I need to be aware of in my daily life. I have a few other adventures I may be embarking upon this year. I will be praying about them and thinking through them and will be happy to share them when the time is right. For now, I will focus on these goals, a few specific things God has put in my heart for 2012. I can't wait to see what this year holds!
How's the new year treating you so far? I have to say, I can't complain. I didn't get the best start to 2012...I was sick. I had a really high fever and felt like I had been hit by a truck. At times, I was wishing the truck would've just gone ahead and finished me off. Thankfully, I made a full recovery, and I think the rest of 2012 can only get better!
I've never been a huge fan of New Year's resolutions. I feel like real resolutions are made any time throughout the year when a person decides they need to make a change or do something differently in their life. I often thought people only made New Year's resolutions because they felt like they were supposed to, not because they truly saw a need for change. Always having my Psychology major tucked away in the back of my mind, I know people will not truly change until they see the need to change and are ready to do what is necessary to make it happen. Because of this, I thought the majority of New Year's resolutions were pretty pointless. While I haven't changed my mind entirely, I do see some benefit in using a new year for somewhat of a "fresh start." It is a nice time to look back and reflect on the past year and to think about some things you would like to challenge yourself to do or to change in the coming year. That's why I have made New Year's Goals rather than New Year's resolutions. These are goals that will be constantly looked at, evaluated, and revised throughout this year and possibly years to come. So, here they are. You can all hold me accountable.
- Say at least 5 positive things to my husband and son every day
- Take time to read to and play with Will every day
- Spend less time online (email, Facebook, blogs...this will be a struggle)
- Run a half marathon (I'm shooting for the OKC Memorial half)
- Exercise at least 5 days a week (this should be easily accomplished with my 1/2 marathon training)
- Make an effort to get to know my neighbors or get to know them better
- Eat fruits and veggies every day
- Drink more water
- Be more bold in sharing my faith.
- Read through the New Testament
- Find a place to volunteer on a regular basis (and actually follow through with it)
- Blog at least once a week
These are just a few things that have been on my heart over the past few weeks. I'm sure more goals will be added, and some of these may be modified, but I always like to have an idea of things I'd like to accomplish and things I need to be aware of in my daily life. I have a few other adventures I may be embarking upon this year. I will be praying about them and thinking through them and will be happy to share them when the time is right. For now, I will focus on these goals, a few specific things God has put in my heart for 2012. I can't wait to see what this year holds!
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